If you had any reason to hit up a search engine for potty training info within the last week, you were sure to find the latest parenting goof, resulting in gasps heard around the world, before finding any tutorial advice.
By "goof", I'm being polite.
Last week, in Utah, a mom decided it would be far more convenient for herself to bring potty chairs in place of booster seats, and to potty train her two young girls right at the table of a bustling deli while they ate their lunch. I'm not kidding.
At first my reaction was just sheer shock and disbelief. I wasn't going to even write about it because everyone else was covering it and voicing their own opinions. The more it sat, however, pun-intended, the more it bothered me for reasons I haven't yet heard in the media.
Public health issues aside, I think this mom is really selfish. I don't mean because she is interfering with the lunches of many, or disrupting the ten suits at a business meeting two tables over. I think she is robbing those two little girls of learning social norms, and not permitting them the privacy for which they are entitled. Potty training is more than physicality. It is about preparing our kids to be appropriate, teaching modesty and dignity, and most of all, creating an environment where kids can feel important and take pride in a monumental accomplishment. It is an opportunity to make our kids feel special, not be gawked at by the pastrami-on-rye eater two feet away (Did I mention the girls weren't dressed?)
Why would a parent do this? Because it is easier and more convenient for HER?
Now I get that there are people out there who will oppose the whole modesty and dignity part of my argument because they believe kids should be proud of their bodies and not forced pre-maturely into modesty. That's fine...but not in a public restaurant, and not while sitting on a potty chair. And why while they are eating? I don't care if you are in public or in the privacy of your own home, I've never heard of teaching table manners and potty training simultaneously. Maybe that's just me.
I grew up in the eighties. Unlike some, I really loved that decade,
especially the music. I still love it. One song in particular takes me
waaaayyy back, and makes me happy...moves me even.
Are The World" was a compilation of all the great singers/songwriters
of the time. It was written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie and
produced by Quincy Jones. The idea was to bring together a huge number
of incredibly talented and famous artists, and create a record that
would sell across all demographics to raise money for humanitarian aid
in Africa. It worked. That single raised over 63 million dollars in
There was a video of the song, taped during the
recording session, that played on MTV over and over (back when MTV
played strictly videos and was hosted by V-jays), now you can see it here on YouTube.
Stevie Wonder, Bob Dylan, Hall and Oates, Duran Duran, Bono, Michael
Jackson, Bruce Springsteen,Paul Simon,Kenny Rogers,Billy Joel, Tina
Turner, Willie Nelson...and on and on and on...
trend to help Africa continued in the summer of 1985 with Live Aid...a
completely different scene, a global effort to have live performances
coincide all over the world to help end hunger in Ethiopia. That was
the first time I cried watching Bono and U2 onstage (wouldn't be the
last)...to this day my favorite band of all time.
was just something about growing up with all of that music on a
mission. Not only were we in love with our rock stars, but they made us
care about more than big hair and leg warmers. They opened up our eyes
to the rest of the world.
imagine 25 years later, in a darkened auditorium, 100 student
performers close their summer show with a rendition of "We Are The
World". Leading a kids cast of 2nd-5th graders, my son sauntered slowly
down the aisle toward the stage. At the top of the steps, he entered
into the pool of stage light just as the chorus began to boom, "We are
the world, we are the children". My son's voice bellowed out the song,
joining in with the older cast...heartfelt for him too, just in a
I didn't expect to be emotional. I knew
the song was coming, had heard bits of it during rehearsal. This was
the first time, though, I had ever heard Sam sing it, seen him sing it, especially while wearing his USA for Africa tee shirt. I get misty just thinking about it.
mixture of nostalgic sentiment and motherly pride is powerful stuff. I
am so happy my son had the opportunity to learn about the song, learn
what it meant to so many. More than that, it was so nice to have this
very special moment with him, a musical and emotional connection from my
past to his present.
This is not Dominic Deville. Click on the link to see the person from the article.
It is true. You can now hire a scary clown to threaten, torment and completely freak out your child for their birthday. Dominic Deville is a professional clown. He's not the happy, floppy, sunshiny, rainbow and balloons kind of clown, however, his MO is to scare your kids half to death. Happy Birthday!
This is a true story. The week of your child's special day, Mr. Deville promises to leave messages for your child in the form of scary notes, texts, and emails. He will tell them they are being watched, and that soon he will get them, or they will be attacked when they least expect it. After stalking your child, when he finds the time is right, he will hit them in the face with a birthday cake. Ta-da! What a hoot!
Honestly? Do we not remember the clown doll in Poltergeist that kept us from sleeping at night? I have an idea of what kind of parent would go for this kind of thing, but that is a whole other blog.
Maybe the target audience here is for teens? I'll have to ask my 16 year old if he thinks this would be funny. The idea is not to tell them they are being set up. How many days do you think a kid will be stressing out looking over his shoulder before he brings it up to his parents?
In full disclosure, Mr. Deville states in the article that he absolutely backs off if kids get too scared or if parents ask. By then isn't the damage already done? If the mission is completed, I have a hard time believing that the cake in the face at the end of the week will erase the terror that took place prior.
I'm always surprised when I see someone capitalizing on tormenting kids, but the fact that there is a market for these people, and parents who pay the tab...well, it just leaves me dumbfounded. Maybe I'm not getting the joke. Maybe I'm too overprotective. What do you think?
I was picking my fourth grader up from school the other day, and couldn't help but make an observation. As I sat there in "the loop", one of many cars lined up between two schools, I felt like I was viewing a happy ending to an ABC After School Special from the 1980's.
One school houses kids for the day in grades K-3, the other holds almost 800 fourth and fifth graders. When the bell rang, kids bounded from every entrance and it was hard not to see their absolute delight to greet their parents or grandparents, or older siblings and babysitters who were picking them up. Their enthusiasm equally reciprocated upon their arrival.
So what is so strange about that? I, for one, can't wait to see my son standing their with his buddies, backpack over his shoulder, watching our car creep through the loop until I pull up beside him. But every family I saw...and I do mean EVERY family, was either skipping or jumping up and down to see each other, or had hands held and swinging happily, or were engaged in immediate enthusiastic conversation. Even the more shy burst into smiles and were welcomed into a hugs and warm receipt.
I found myself wondering if this day was just a fluke, a sudden ray of sunshine in our busy, suburban parking lot? Or if I was really so fortunate to live in a community that really celebrates their children and parenthood? For the days that followed I found myself actually looking for trouble, some kind of grumpy encounter or tears or anything that would indicate dysfunction. I've yet to find it. How cool is that?
Now I am realistic enough to know that there are certainly many kids I don't see who get on the bus and aren't as happy or as fortunate to go home to a Mary Poppins existence. All communities have families with problems and ours is no different. Even the giddy ones greeted at the school door may have meltdowns the minute they get into their car, or at the start of the homework struggle, or when sibling rivalry sets in. But for at least ten minutes everyday at 3:35pm, it is nice to see such pure delight, boundless energy, and sincere joy and affection between kids and their families and friends.
So today I am thankful to live in a place where I get to see this kind of interaction everyday....well, at least until middle school. Even then, who knows?